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Posted April 13, Reviewed by Lybi Why do men cheat in a relationship. After almost three decades of working with couples decimated by infidelityI can tell you that men who cheat on a beloved wife or girlfriend can be amazingly creative when they try to explain why. Other times, they find ways to blame others for their choices—their spouse, their boss, even the other woman.
I have written about that numerous times, including here. However, this post is about cheating men. As a therapist, I find most of the reasons that cheating men use to justify their infidelity fascinating—because almost all of these reasons imply that cheating was the only logical solution to their relationship issues and other life problems. So when confronted, they minimize, rationalizeand justify their behavior with statements like:.
In the therapy business, we have a name for this type of reasoning: Denial. From a psychotherapy perspective, denial is a series of internal lies and deceits people tell themselves to make their questionable behaviors seem OK at least in their own minds. Typically, each self-deception is supported by one or more rationalizations, with each one bolstered by still more falsehoods.
This, of course, begs the question: Why? Why do men really cheat? Generally, though, his choice to cheat is driven by one or more of the following factors:. For most men, no single factor drives the decision to cheat. Still, knowing why he cheated can be helpful in terms of not repeating the behavior in the future. Robert Weiss, Ph. Robert Weiss Ph. Cheating is not the only option. Key points Men often give therapists creative reasons for why they cheated, because they are in denial. To justify cheating, men may claim that what they did shouldn't "count" as cheating, or that they cheated due to a lack of sex.
The most important thing for men to remember is that they have options other than cheating: such as therapy and being honest with their partner. About the Author. Read Next. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness. Family Life Child Development Parenting.
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The 10 Biggest Reasons Why Men Cheat