Added: Ave Stenberg - Date: 07.07.2021 17:28 - Views: 45942 - Clicks: 7942
This means that if you click that link and purchase the product, I may receive a small compensation. I am, however, committed to honestly assessing the products mentioned. Please read my disclosure policy for more details. One of the hardest things for me after Aidan was born was making sure that Levon felt like he was still 1 to me.
New moms and not-so-new moms have a lot on their plates. However, I knew that it was so important to resist the temptation to let Aidan become my sole focus. For the sake of my marriage, and the stability and security a strong marriage brings to the whole family, I knew I needed to be intentional about Putting your spouse first in a marriage my husband first. Levon was here before Aidan came along, and he will be here long after our kids are out of the house.
Maintaining a close connection is an investment for our future. Family researchers agree that strong bonds between parents contribute to happier homes, less stress and discord between family members, and children who are more well-adjusted and less self-centered and entitled. But making your marriage after kids a priority is too important to ignore. A few of them require more work than others, but several of them are really quite simple, and only require a little thought and intention.
This is such a simple thing, but it is a big deal to my husband. No one likes to be ignored, especially by the one person that you care about the most. If possible, I also give him a hug and kiss. Have date nights. Talk to him. This is another simple but effective way to show your husband you care. Carve out time during the day to talk to him. Discuss your days, your feelings, and your hopes and plans for the future. Talking regularly is a key way to maintain and strengthen your connection. Without it, you will quickly begin to drift apart and find yourselves leading separate lives.
Make sex a priority. This can be a tough one. So do whatever you have to do to make it a priority. If you are too exhausted at night, try getting up earlier in the morning, or making good use of nap time on the weekends! Or, if it works for you financially, have regular adults-only getaways for a night or two.
You could also encourage your husband to help more around the house or with the kids, explaining to him that the more rested you are, the more eager you will be for fun activities later. Here are a few excellent books on the subject that I highly recommend:. Take an active interest in him by learning about his hobbies and occupation. Spend a day with him doing what he likes to do. Levon loves it when I go to the shooting range with him or ask him questions about his job. Have Putting your spouse first in a marriage conversations.
Make sure that not all your conversations revolve around what the kids did or said that day. Spend time talking after the kids go to bed when you can give your husband your undivided attention. Be physically affectionate.
All it requires is being thoughtful of his needs and following through. Your husband may not enjoy physical affection as much as mine. If love languages are an unfamiliar concept to you, I highly recommend reading the book The 5 Love Languagesby Gary Chapman. This is especially important right after a new baby comes, when many d feel insecure about their new role in the changing family dynamic. In general, men are doers and enjoy feeling needed. So much of pregnancychildbirth, and newborn care is heavily mother-oriented, and I saw firsthand how left out d can feel.
It was me who carried the baby and felt all his movements for nine months, me who labored and delivered himand me who could nurse him after he was born. So it was nice for Levon when he could give him a bottle once in a while or rock him to sleep.
Now that Aidan is older, Levon is able to take an even more active part in his care, and they are able to have a lot more quality bonding time together. During their time together, I make a concerted effort not to instruct, comment, or critique. I show Levon I trust him and his parenting abilities when I allow him the freedom to care for and play with Aidan how he sees fit without a comment from the peanut gallery!
Present a united front in front of the. Levon and I made a commitment long before we had Aidan that we would always present a united front in our parenting. I try to support whatever call Levon has made, and he supports mine. I also make it a habit to esteem Levon in front of Aidan, and he does the same for me. Continue to be his cheerleader. When people have kids, they attend every concert, videotape every recital, and cheer at every game.
Are you still his biggest advocate? All I can say is that for my marriage, keeping our bed a special place for us at night is very important. Your husband may not mind, and if not, then by all means, do what works for you if you both agree! If your husband has expressed any displeasure over your sleeping arrangements, I would encourage you to seriously reconsider keeping your bed kid-free at night. None of this is to say that our children are not important to us, of course. Aidan is one of my top priorities in life, coming third only to my relationship with God and my relationship with my husband.
But it is so important that while we raise our children, we also continue to invest in our marriage after. Putting our husbands before our kids is not only good for the health of our marriage, but also for the well-being of our kids and the overall joy in our homes.
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Yes, You Need to Prioritize Your Marriage Over Your Kids