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First, you have to deal with the obvious: there are a lot of women and Vichy Males out there who feel threatened by a man who chooses to place his happiness at the center of his romantic decisions….
Next, you have to deal with a society that disincentivizes satisfying romantic relationships. These rules are informed by my experiences as a man, being in a steady relationship for over six years — and still going strong, with no s of ending anytime soon. Follow my rules, and you will become the type of man that women want to be with and stay with once they get into a relationship with you. You have to be the type of man a woman wishes to attract. Actually, due to the effects of hypergamy, you need to be even more.
If you want an intelligent woman, you need to cultivate above-average intelligence. If you want a fit woman, you need to live in the gym. If you want a feminine woman, you need to be a masculine male. We just adapt to get what we want. What type of man only has his work, sports to watch on the weekend, and Netflix?
The type of man who is so boring that none of his relationships last. This is also the type of man who will obsess over the woman because she instantly becomes the most important thing in his life without having to earn that spot. You need a mission that develops your mind and body. You, the gamer, exist in a fantasy world where nothing you do matters. This is also the same problem with pornography. Have goals and priorities beyond the digital world. Grow and develop so you have something to offer yourself, the world, and your woman.
It has no bearing on her reproductive abilities. This means all displays of strength, dominance, and power are attractive to women. This explains why murderers and drug dealers can get good looking women just the same as a professional athlete or celebrity. This is the result of evolution. The rest of your life and your behaviors provide a clue to your evolutionary fitness, strength, and power. Only a lame-ass with no hobbies obsesses over a girl or relationship.
However, the one thing that must never be part of the equation is fear. This is powerful because it forces you to deal with your biggest fear head-on and fully in control: Rejection. Most guys see potential in every girl that gives them attention.
It could be hope for a future wife, one-night stand, a kiss, or even just a little attention. A sad fact is that many guys would rather waste time and money being uncertain than proactively making a decision and riding with it. All things considered equal, the more unhappy a man is in a relationship, the less experienced he is with women in general. A favorite saying of mine explains this perfectly:. For 3 years, I worked in an all-female office with women ages I also did the pickup-artist thing, cutting my teeth on day game, night game, and everything in between.
All of this experience has given me a better understanding of women and their thinking. To get better with women, you need experience. To get experience, you have to make mistakes. These mistakes tend to leave emotional scars and make you apprehensive towards romance. The sting of those mistakes reduces your impulsiveness and makes it easier for you to abide by the other rules. While these are probabilistic statements and not hard-and-fast truths, anecdotal and experimental research tells us that these are the most likely outcomes.
In other words, it benefits you to treat them as fact and prepare accordingly.
We live in a different world than the one our parents grew up in. The rules and expectations are different. Understanding this is the difference between confusion and anger. Understanding it is the difference between happiness and contentment. Force yourself to confront human nature so you can predict it. You must face uncomfortable truths about the world to face uncomfortable truths about yourself. She is more likely to have a positive opinion of men and respect them.
However, if she holds him in high regard, this means he was a positive masculine influence. He likely influenced her opinion of men in a positive way as well. Most guys understand that a crackhead should not be their first choice. But the reality is that any drug use should be a deal-breaker. The bottom line is that the use of any mind-altering substance beyond the occasional drink is going to be a problem.
For lighter vices like smoking, you should still avoid it. Smokers have a lower level of self-discipline and self-restraint — two things you want someone to have that you commit a ificant amount of time and resources to. I think I understand why. More specifically, more self-control is required to maintain a pleasing appearance through diet than exercise. There is a saying that describes the difference between male and female friendships:. Blatant hypocrisy is the real issue.
Friendships with men should be assessed on a bell curve: too many male friends is just as alarming as none at all.
What can you, one man, hope to offer in place of many varied men? That would suggest a special type of isolation that is just as difficult to manage as over-exposure. Each time you put water in or take water out the bucket, you do a small amount of damage to it. Some guys just want a pretty face around until it becomes too boring or stressful. Unfortunately, this is most girls. Great conversations are the result of a rich life.
Ideally, her hobbies and interests enhance your life as well. However, excessive amounts of tattoos or tattoos in a place where it would be strange if a family member touches them is a red flag. The same goes for piercings beyond basic earrings or a tasteful nose ringweird hair colors, or strange haircuts. Remember: the point of this post is to serve as a guide for men who desire a happy relationship. None of this stuff matters if you just want brief fun.
Either way, you have to do what makes you happy. Stoic Street-Smarts. Home Newsletter Shop About. Weekly dose of self-improvement up.
Emotional Mastery Relationship and dating advice for men: 12 rules. Ed Latimore Author, retired boxer, self-improvement enthusiast.Need a good women that wants a ltr
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10 s the person you're dating wants to keep things casual