Added: Sheresa Cohrs - Date: 22.02.2022 13:36 - Views: 41287 - Clicks: 7879
Getting cheated on hurts. Whether it happens once or repeatedly, the sense of intimate betrayal and the inevitable loss of relationship trust is devastating. The pain and mistrust you feel may linger throughout the remainder of your relationship, and possibly into future relationships. First, I want to make one thing clear: You did not cause the cheating. Now the potential enlightenment: Please note that not every betrayed partner will identify with all or perhaps any of the following points.
But some will.
If you have a history of becoming intimate with men who ultimately betray you, read on. This type of pattern typically from childhood trauma — neglect, abuse, inconsistent parenting — which teaches problematic life lessons about trust and intimate attachmentwith those lessons carrying forward into adulthood. So as an adult, you choose partners who are likely to cheat or to abandon you in some other meaningful way. This, in turn, can lead to a healthier romantic attachment moving forward.
Do you confuse sexual intensity with romantic intimacy? The healthiest and most enjoyable romantic relationships are as much if not more about close companionship as they are about hot sex. Do we share values, beliefs, and fun experiences? Do my friends and family like him? Sexual attraction is important — even required to some degree — but ultimately fades in every relationship.
Physical attraction is the magnet that brings us together, not than the glue that keeps us connected. Does your self-esteem need a boost? Individuals who are insecure about their looks or some other self-perceived shortcoming will sometimes settle for the first partner who seems interested, even one who may be emotionally unavailable, and who may reinforce their already low self-esteem as a way of making themselves feel stronger and more important. They stop calling friends, they blow off regular social engagements, they stop hanging out with colleagues, and they focus almost entirely on their partner.
This is natural, and we all do it to some extent, but it can be carried too far. Relationships are meant to add to your life, not replace it.
If everything is about him and your relationship, you will begin to feel trapped and overly enmeshed, and when that occurs, the relationship is bound to struggle. Do you fear being alone? In time, this causes relationship friction and the usual problems, sometimes including infidelity. I promise you, though, that the self-confidence and self-knowledge you develop as a self-sustaining single person will make you very attractive to all sorts of really great potential partners who want to love you exactly as you are.
Single for now does not mean single forever. Although the book is primarily written for cheating men, their partners have also found it useful. Often, a woman re the book and then gives it to her partner, who, if he truly wants to make things right, re it and finally starts to understand the impact of his behavior.
He is the author of several highly regarded books. Currently, he is Senior Vice President of National Clinical Development for Elements Behavioral Health, creating and overseeing addiction and mental health treatment programs for more than a dozen high-end treatment facilities.
For more information please visit his website, robertweissmsw.
Robert Weiss, Ph. Robert Weiss Ph. Infidelity can be an enlightening experience. Posted May 17, Share. About the Author. Read Next. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness.
Family Life Child Development Parenting. View Help Index. Do I Need Help? Back Magazine. July Who Is the True You? Back Today. Essential Re.He cheated on you
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7 Things You Should Do NOW When Your Boyfriend/Husband Cheated on You