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Protect your website with Sucuri! Last month I posted some statistics on living together before marriage. Since then I have received a of inquiries as to what the Bible says about living together. So in this post I would like to share some of the Biblical teaching about living together before marriage. This should not be surprising, because the Bible has some strong things to say about living together.
God is a loving God, and he gives us his commands for our protection. Those who choose not to live together before marriage will likely avoid many of the negative outcomes described in the earlier post. Here are some Scriptures on living together before marriage:. You will notice from these Bible verses that I am assuming couples who live together are also sexually involved. I will address the much rarer situation of couples who live together but are not sexually active in a later post.
But let me end this post by sharing the testimony of a young woman that I think effectively sums up some of the major problems of living together before marriage. I wish I could tell every young adult in America that you truly will reap what you sow. Living together may seem wonderful initially … but eventually it creates more problems than you can imagine.
I lived with my boyfriend for two years before we got married. My boyfriend was not a Christian, but I figured I could change him if we moved in together. Did you find this post helpful? Hello and welcome to RayFowler. If you are new here, be sure to subscribe by or feed reader so that you don't miss any future posts. You can also check out the Top Posts to get a feel for the site. Thanks for visiting! : MarriageSexuality Leave a reply. You either are. Or you are not. Living together well proves, well, that you can live together well! To be married means that you are there in good times and bad, whether your spouse is healthy or ill, in a good mood or a bad one.
The joy of being in a marriage is that you can count on the other to stick it out with you! Obvious exceptions to this would be staying with a married spouse who beat and abused or who broke the marital bonds with infidelity… Thanks for the Scriptural support for marriage, Ray! Julie — Thanks for asking! The fourth post will be coming later this month probably next weekand I will add the link to it on the other posts in the series once it has published.
Dear Ray, I appreciate your forthright position on unmarried couples living under the same roof. I cannot argue with the verses you used. I lost my job and have no other place to stay. We have successfully abstained from sex and have no desire to go there for a year now. I am sleeping in my own bed in another bedroom for free right now. If this a sin in spite of my hopefully temporary financial dilemna,am I still sinning and out of fellowship with God because of this?.
How bad of a sin is this?. I want to do the right thing and get my own place. Sleeping in the woods does not sound appealing. Greg — Thanks for a great question. I am sorry to hear about your loss of employment. I hope you find work soon. As I read your comment, it seems like you and your girlfriend are doing a lot of things right. You are committed to abstaining sexually, you are sleeping in separate bedrooms, you would prefer to have a place of your own, and you want to keep growing in fellowship with Christ.
That is all good stuff. The problem with living together before marriage even without sex is that it opens you up to continual temptation, it can hurt your Christian testimony, and it could have a negative effect on your relationship later on when you do get married. Are the two of you ready to get married yet? If not, have you checked with family, friends or church to see if someone may be able to put you up temporarily? Ask God if he can show you another way. In the meantime, it sounds like you are doing the best you can in a difficult situation.
Remember, God is a God of forgiveness and grace. If you continue to bring this to Christ in prayer, I believe God will honor your desire to do the right thing and will provide an answer for you. I am currently living with my BF who is a non believer of Christ. I thought living with him would make him change his mind and see that it is the right thing to do. I have tried everything and he does not believe why we should rush marriage. Being a Christian, I feel guilty every day that goes by. I might have to just cut it off and take what I learned. Chelle — Thanks for sharing your experience.
As you are finding out, living with a non-Christian boyfriend rarely le to marriage or to the boyfriend coming to Christ. More often, we end up in a dead-end situation that can cost us years of our lives. Thankfully, God is loving and forgiving, and he never gives up on us. I have a problem with the living together issue. My ex-husband and I are the only one who choose to marry before we moved in together. All our friends who lived together and purchased their home. My brother and his wife lived together and its like everyone that lives together first is still together.
I and a few friends who married first are all divorced so i just think I will live with the person first and get moved in. I love the Lord and I think that he knows our hearts. Lisa — You are basing a very important decision on a small sample of friends and acquaintances. I would encourage you to read the Scriptures in the post above again carefully.
It sounds like you want to please Bible and living together before marriage Lord with your decisions, and we please God by trusting and obeying his word, not by doing things our own way. It is sometimes hard to trust God when your experience seems to say otherwise, but let me leave you with these wise words from Proverbs:. I ran across this Bible and living together before marriage in Googling the Billy Graham museum for my parents. I just wanted to comment on this thread:. My boyfriend and I also lived together for a few years.
I am a Christian, he was not. Like one of the comments before, I always had a guilty consious about living together. We got married and although we had a wonderful marriage, his salvation was always on my mind. Recently, at a new memebers class at our church, he accepted Christ. I am so happy that I now know that our 2-year old daughter has the love and support of TWO Christian parents! Although it turned out great for us, we are the exception rather than the rule I believe.
I think you can not base your comment on that your mate was unsaved and found the Lord. A lot of people who are Bible and living together before marriage and love the Lord live together and are happy. Many are still married today. I lost to much from that experience. Jennifer — Thanks for sharing. I am glad to hear your husband accepted Christ. And I agree — the exception does not prove the rule. I know many Christian wives who are still praying for their husbands after many years.
Lisa — Let me respond to a of your comments one by one. I will put your comments in bold font and then respond in regular type. But I have to question whether these are people who truly love the Lord. However, statistics show that choosing to live together first only hurts your chances for a successful marriage later. From my own experiences I completely agree with not living together before marriage. In my personal case, I dated a guy and we both thought each other were Christians. After three months of dating, he proposed, everything was fine and dandy. However, soon outside influences created struggles in our relationship.
And we soon agreed to move in together; where as before we said we would wait for marriage to move in and also keeping in good faith that we would also wait for marriage in regards to sex. However, things got really bad, so bad to the point of abuse.
Noticiably, our relationship has gotten way worse since the mention of moving in together. Christine — Thanks for sharing. I pray God will guide you in your next steps as you seek to follow him. Hi Ray, I agree with the no living together before marriage, but I was wondering what your thoughts were on sleepovers.
Keeping in good faith that we are waiting for marriage for everything; do you have any suggestions on where Christians should draw the line on this one. I realize that this is a somewhat seemingly difficult and personal question, but I was wondering what your opinion was on this type of matter and or if you know of any scripture in relation to this. Christine — Thanks for a great question. I would still discourage couples from doing sleepovers, for the same reasons I posted in the third part of this series: Living Together Without Sex.
Sleepovers expose you to unnecessary temptation, can damage your Christian testimony, and continue to trivialize the sacredness of living together in marriage. When I used to visit my girlfriend at college and had to stay overnight because of the distance involvedwe always set it up that I slept in the dorm of one of the other guys on campus. I work with a gal who moved across the state to move in with her fiance. My question is how do I know if I am to bring up the subject with her and confront this sin? Dave — Great question. First of all, start with prayer.
You can never go wrong praying about a situation. Pray for God to reveal his truth to your friend, and pray for wisdom to know when and how to talk to her about it.Bible and living together before marriage
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Bible Verses About Living Together Before Marriage